Not Everyone Is Beautiful

October 24, 2013 by A

Hey, reader! Can I tell you how tired I am of this flowery bullshit?

"We are all beautiful, regardless of our skin color, our facial characteristics, our personalities, or our abilities."

What?? I feel like I read something like that every week. And it took a quick Google search to see just how pervasive this crazy, self-soothing myth is.

No, we're not. And that's okay.

First of all, are you kidding me? People's personalities weigh so heavily on their beauty. I've met a lot of empirically good looking people whose personalities made them ugly. Conversely, I've thought many "less attractive" guys were super hot because of their talents, interests, sense of humor, etc.

In other words, the way they made me feel made them way more attractive to me than whatever was happening on their faces. If you have a kid who gets used to getting high and by on their looks, they're going to end up spending a lot less time becoming kind, funny, interesting people -- traits that will serve them much longer than their looks will.

Second, it's bullshit that any smart kid will eventually be able to see through. Everyone can't be beautiful. Beautiful exists only in relation to things that aren't. If everyone's beautiful, no one's beautiful. A three-year-old won't put this together, but the older ones will and you'll sound full of shit. Teenagers aren't blind; they can see that some people are just better looking than others, and they'll think it's unfair and that it sucks (and it is and it does). Praising them for things other than their beauty will make these "shortcomings" a lot easier to deal with.

My boyfriend said to me, "Well, what if you had a kid that was beautiful?" I'm sure I'd let it slip sometimes, but I'd try really fucking hard to celebrate his or her achievements and personality more loudly than his or her face. Third, stupid rhetoric like this emphasizes exactly what it attempts to negate -- that beauty is king.

If we're going to be throwing around nonsense like "everyone is beautiful," why can't we move toward the also difficult-to-believe, but much more meaningful lesson that surface beauty isn't important. Or at least that it's just some ephemeral accident of nature and that eventually, no one gives a shit that you're pretty if you aren't kind and fun to be around. We're all a number of decades away from being "ugly," so fuck it.

Would you rather be boring and pretty or average looking and interesting?